Singles & Marriage (Part 9): Addicted to Adolescence

Interesting report from Focus On The Family’s Boundless blog on adolescent adults by Alex and Brett Harris.

Dubbed “adultescence,” it covers the ages of 18 to 29 and beyond. Sociologists claim that putting off adulthood has become a permanent trend among American youth, and now, young adults. Adultescents often live with their parents, even after college, while hopping from job to job and relationship to relationship. They generally lack direction, commitment, financial independence, and personal responsibility, while somehow managing to spend more time and money than the average American on clothes, movies, music, computers, video games and eating out. For adultescents marriage and family fall in the zone of “maybe, someday, but that’s years away.” They’re Peter Pans who shave. Genesis 2“Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh”(ESV). The biblical pattern is for young people to leave their parent’s household in order to begin their own. This strongly implies that living with your parents before you get married can be a very good thing; provided you’re doing it for the right reasons. If you haven’t found Mr. or Mrs. Right, and it’s more helpful to you and your family for you to remain at home, it’s not just fine, it’s biblical! Unfortunately, most “stay-and-delay” not out of biblical conviction, but out of self-indulgence and sloth. And even more unfortunately, many of us tend to think and act more like adolescents than biblical young adults.For adultescents, Mom and Dad’s house just means easier access to Mom and Dad’s checkbook and credit card. With the parents paying for food, electricity, and insurance, the adultescent’s limited income can be funneled into more “important” things, like clothes, eating out, lattes, flat-screen TVs, and video games.Adultescents aren’t using their time at home to prepare for marriage or to serve others; they’re using it to stall and to serve themselves.

Consider 26-year-old Jennie Jiang, for example, who admitted, “I want to get married, but not soon. I’m enjoying myself. There’s a lot I want to do by myself still.” Or Marcus Jones, another twentysomething, who stated that he might be interested in marriage, just not anytime soon. “It’s a long way down the road,” he said. Right now, Marcus explained, “I’m too self-involved.”

What are all these “important,” self-involving things that adultescents are delaying marriage for? Well, they’re delaying marriage for toys, games, fun, and “stuff.” According to Dan Morrison, president of Twentysomething, Inc., adultescents have become the dream demographic for products and services, including consumer electronics, Gameboys, flat-screen TVs, iPods, tailored and designer clothing, cars, and vacations. “Most of their needs are taken care of by Mom and Dad, so their income is largely discretionary,” explained Morrison. “[They're] living at home, but if you look, you’ll see flat-screen TVs in their bedrooms and brand-new cars in the driveway.”

The scary thing is that we may know people like that. The scarier thing is that we are that. We may not be splurging on video games or brand-new cars, but are we spending our time and money right now to prepare for what God has called us to be and do?

Adultescents are self-absorbed. Adultescence represents our culture’s addiction to the world and to self.